We hit and run...

I feel less of a human being last night. I don't know how to lessen my guilt.

Perhaps, I could make a difference. Only if I had followed my heart and not just my logics. I'm embarrassed to talk about it, but I think I should shame myself as a punishment. I deserve it. Or we deserve it.

We went to Supasave Gadong last night to buy groceries, we very hardly do. Not in the evenings. Not there. It's too way out from our Casa de la Armonia. I don't know why we decided to go there. May be it was meant to be. Or may be it was a test.

Heading back via Jangsak, it was all smooth but a pretty busy road at that time. Hubby was driving, and kept to a speed of 70km/hr. A little fast, but not an unusual speed on that road. We kept to the right lane. We were talking at the same time, I don't remember what now. Perhaps discussing on the possible petrol price hike, or just our stagnant economy in general.

Out of a sudden, we saw a cat crossing. We couldn't halt, there was a car behind us. We couldn't swerve to the side, there was a car on the left. Hubby maneuvered to evade the cat. Cat panicked ran straight into the car. ...

We went on, we didn't stop. We didn't attempt to. We panicked. We didn't know what to do. My 3 y.o who saw what happened asked if the cat's dead. We assumed it was. Hubby told her, "that's what happen if you cross a busy road. So, don't ever."

I was speechless. I just hugged my child. But I couldn't help wonder if we should do a u-turn to check on the cat. Is it truly dead? Can we save it? Can we take it to a vet? But would it make a difference?

Yes, it would have. May be not to the cat. May be the cat would die eventually. It was a hard knock. But had we turn back, had we decide to attempt to save the dying cat, we would have given our 3 y.o a great lesson about moral, about compassion, about kindness, about being HUMAN. But we did not.

We were'nt only inhumane but we failed to be good parents last night. We should have shown good example, but we didn't. I can't justify our behaviour.

Dear Cat, I'm truly sorry for us.
Dear Owner, I'm truly sorry for us.
Dear Daughters, I'm truly sorry for us.
Dear Dad and Mum, I'm truly sorry for us.
Dear Friends, I'm truly sorry for us.
Dear People, I'm truly sorry for us.
Dear Prophet, I'm truly sorry for us.

Dear God, I'm truly sorry for us;
Please forgive us, have mercy on us.

"QaddarAllahu wamaa shaa a fa'al"
(Allah has ordained it, and whatever He wills, He does)