Re-Freshed

Ah... isn't it wonderful. Baby's out. Yup, been just over 2 weeks now. Thank God. Baby's adorable (don't we all say that!). I'm feeling alright. I feel pretty healthy, thanks to the traditional postnatal treatment, which of course is costing me a bomb! It's like 1/4th my salary. Ah, they don't need education to dig deep into our pockets, just pure experience and great word of mouths. Are us women becoming victims of 'beauty and well-being'? Maybe. Well, the things we women do in the hope that our husband will notice the differences. Well, I don't know if husbands ever notice. I pray to God so. Anyway, my husband has been a great guy. ...I always wonder how men feel when observing us in labour. Any thoughts?

While I'm talking about labour, I must say I'm grateful to the midewife who attended me, as well as the nurses at Ward 18; First Stage and Labour Room. The Doctors were great too. My experiences at RIPAS with all 3 babies have been good. I don't have anything to complain, but admiration of the service. Well, except for the food. Supposedly catered by RBC??? Oh! Another thing. I didn't get my own room this time. Even after several requests, and early bookings. I don't know what happened this time. With my first baby, I got one of the Bungas. Then they were refurbished when I had my second baby. I thought I'd be able to get in this time. Not in luck. The odd thing was when I requested for it, the nurse kept emphasising the deposit is high, and the rate per night. We wouldn't have asked if we weren't prepared for it. I think what they didn't quite understand is why we should be spending so much to stay just for a few nights. Well, what they don't know is when you just gave birth, you want some company. It feels being cared for (with hubby being there next to you); it feels comfortable when you are in pain to go to your own toilet; and it feels easy when someone is there with you especailly if you have to leave your baby alone when you need to go to the toilet. Okay, it is a little of a luxury, but why not. After huffing and puffing; and with pain in your **se (literally speaking), you just want to be somewhere 'close' to home environment. ***Sigh*** Well, I'm planning to have a long break. So, my rant is on behalf of others having similar desire to mine.

Anyhow... what have I been doing since my leave? I mean aside from baby-bonding. The odd checks on my work e-mails. Uhuh. Can't rid me of work. Though, I must say I feel a little bad when I 'interfered', as if I don't trust my deputy and the team. To be honest, I just don't know if I'm meant to be away from work anyway. With the amount of projects before the fiscal year ends, and high expectations from everyone, it feels important to stay up-to-date with what's going around. I've also been feeling a bit guilty. I had one project which I didn't quite complete, and had to leave it to the team. They are still doing it. It should have been submitted sometime ago. I'm not blaming them, I feel responsible cause it was my project. I was entrusted with it. I feel bad that it got delayed. I feel bad whenever I asked my team how it's going. Cause I should be the person responsible and then expecting them to complete for me seems unfair and irresponsible. Well, I shouldn't and I should be putting my trust on my team to handle it without me 'instructing ' them on all angles of the project. They would know how. They should. In fact they are more experience than me in this area. I just came into this field recently. Plus, we're supposed to create leaders within them. Gosh, am I justifying my guilt?

Basically, I'm enjoying motherhood right now, bonding with my baby. But I must say it's not easy trying to juggle my time with my other kids, the husband and work e-mails. Breastfeeding is as usual a demanding task. 3 babies and that's how I felt all this while. Particularly in the first 2 weeks, where the baby is adjusting; and so was I. It has been incredible though with this baby. I felt a lot better and breastmilk is flowing well. Maybe because I got a boy, something that I've been looking forward to. Yup, we had girls all the way. This tiny boy also loves feeding, and perhaps his constant need for feeding helps the flow. He's also a kewl dude. He sleeps a lot too. I'm pretty relaxed, I can say. Alhamdulillah.

The only thing boring is staying indoors, at home. While everyone else is enjoying their other chores, like shopping and eating out. Talk about eating out, I'm going to miss that. I have put on a lot. Well, I put on a lot with my previous pregnancy, and I didn't quite lost it when I got pregnant again. Well, actually I lost a lot during my previous pregnancy, but put on postnatal. Then as I was losing, I got pregnant. I didn't put much on till the last few weeks. I was crazy over sugary food. I caved in, just couldn't handle it. So now, I'm very overweight. I checked this morning, I got 2 stones and a half to kill in the next 6 months. It will be tough. But I hope I can lose it. I've been inspired after watching "The biggest loser." Almost daily. But I can't diet yet, nor can I start my workouts till 5th week. Even when I start my exercise regime, I shouldn't be dieting. Well, if anything the idea is to get back my fitness level.

I have a NEW GOAL from now onwards. I want this break to ReFRESH me; so I will feel GREAT. Ultimately, I want to be HAPPY. Yes, my goal is to be HAPPY. I can go back to why I started this blog. To be positive, to fly high like the butterfly :)

(image source: www.bradfitzpatrick.com)