Boney boney (Interlude)

At last the bone is gone.

I had this tiny fish bone stuck in my throat since yesterday lunch. I went to Sumbangsih Mulia for a quick cheap meal with my kids. I always go there. You won't get diet food, but depending on your interpretation, I believe they are healthy meals.

My option was this ikan masak kunyit, 2 small pieces of hati buyah, a small portion of nasi putih, and sambal pedas (ayam penyit). I didn't take rice in the evening to cut down on my complex carb, just vegies. Just didn't want to take on the guilt trip. Remember, I'm trying to lose my FAT. It's enough that we had BT talking about RIPAS confirming on fat Bruneians, then you have the old man in his blog rubbing salt to my wound.

Anyway. Almost to my last spoon I suddenly felt a piercing on the back of my throat. Just behind the uvula and the soft palate. My fault, I took for granted that the fish was tiny, and its bone wont affect me that much if it ever got stuck. When it did, I didn't really panic.

First attempt to take it out: ate a tiny ball of rice. Didn't even budge. I made a couple more balls of rice. I had to asked for extra which was kind of embarrassing. I bet people were thinking, "God, she really eat, doesn't she? Typical Bruneian women." Nope, that didn't work either.

Second attempt: drank lots and lots of water. Slowly. Nope. No movement. But everytime I spoke, I felt the urge to vomit.

I thought it's getting there. So better leave it for a bit. I rang mum, she was at home and wanted to see the baby. So, I flocked my herd into the car, told them we are meeting their granny. On the way we passed by Hua Ho Mall. I had a thought, and since I had a few stuff to get, I decided to stop by.

Third attempt: Took one strepsil. Sucking it really slow. Finished. Nothing happened.

Got to mum's. Mum said, try sipping water from the cover of the rice-cooker (remember that children song: "minum air di tudung periuk, petua ubat ketulangan..."

Fourth attempt: Took the suggestion. Sipped slowly with full concentration and hope. Damn.

I decided to just not bother. It'll go down somehow. But, the bone kept thrusting on my throat, it felt slightly painful as night goes by. Nevermind, it'll go tomorrow. I woke up this morning, my God, it still was there. Told the hubby again and he thought he'd try another trick, his dad's.

Fifth attempt: The hubby placed a small clean nail into a glass full of water. Left it for a couple of minutes, and got me drinking it after. I did.

I believe it's gone now. Thank God. But lesson learnt well, never underestimate anything tiny.

Trust and loyalty Part I

Well, it was supposed to be a relaxing day for hubby and I on sunday. We wanted to escape from everything else, including the kids. So, we opted to take the kids to my parents. Leave them there for a bit, while we head to kadai komunis to get a DVD and watch it at our own place with our own space.

I'm pretty lucky that my parents are just minutes away from us. It's coincidental really. When I got to know my husband, he was living close-by with his adopted daughter. He was a divorcee.

Now talk about trust, I would have not agreed to meet him, have my parents not known where he lived. Like many modern relationships today, I must admit I met my husband in an on-line forum. His English was good, that was the catch. That was one of the requirements. Plus, he sounded smart. I also sensed his high EQ. Foremost, he sounded like somebody you could really trust in.

No, we weren't actually 'going out,' really. There weren't that opportunity. I was thousands of miles away from him, trying to finish my study. It was weird and funny. After several exchanges of private on-line messages and e-mails, we notched it up with text phone messages. We talked more of his past. His trust was betrayed once. He was a dedicated single father, and I was somewhat attracted to that. I think.

I was in a bizarre, and a volatile relationship. Trust was hard in my relationships. It's so weird when you are out with a gorgeous guy where girls would drool over him yet he is very insecure. When you should be the one. Trust me, beauty is not everything.

When the on-line man appeared, I somewhat felt that this was HIM. I was never going to let him pass by me. I told my men it was very over. My man devastated - almost suicidal. Scary. Somehow, after almost 4 years, I finally have the courage to not care of the emotional blackmails and antics. This on-line mystery man has liberated me. He was The one.

Then one odd day I received a text message: "will you marry me?" I replied "this is not real, right?" He replied back, "let's say if it was". I suffocated. I never met this man, I didn't know how he really looked like. He didn't even know me. Weirdo. He must be crazy. But it was romantic, I thought it was. I texted back, "OK." But it was not the okay okay, I was just answering to a hypothetical proposal.

Then another 3pm one day, I got a buzz at my flat. It was Interflora. The flower guy smiled and said '"This guy must really loves you, he got you a dozen of white roses and a teddy.' Kewl, it felt like pretty woman. By then I have already received a beautiful proposal card. This bouquet was another proposal. This time I was gob-smacked. It kicked in. He was for real.

I rang a galfren in London . She said, 'Man, I'd marry him if I were you.' The whole thought of marrying suffocated me. I never believed in marriage. Plus, this was a little too fast. We just 'knew' each other. Well, not really; we didn't know one another.

He texted again and said he'd fly over to see me, so I could make my decision. Eerie. Insane. Eccentric. But I let him come. Was I gullible? He could have been a sex-maniac or a rapist. Yet, I trusted this perfect stranger.

He assured me and gave me his home address. Even asked me to talk to his mum. I passed. But I gave his address to my parents so they could confirm his place. Before leaving, he promised to meet my parents first. He did. I took it as seeking permission to see me if he was that sincere. They met. He looked alright, they said. They got excited, well, the whole family was.

The day came and I braved myself to see him at the Airport. Costa cafe was our first rendezvous. He was late, almost an hour late. His plane had arrived much earlier so I thought he stood me up. As I got up to leave, I saw this tall man, long-haired, in grey shirt and black trousers, with a bouquet on one hand and his luggage on another smiling at me, and apologized for the delay. Then asked, "Would you like me to stay or should I head back to London?" I smiled. He looked safe.

He was safe. He is safe. He secures me now. Well, after one meeting, we got engaged. After the second meeting, we got married. All within 4 months. Hasty decision, it was not. I found incredible love. Love that grows and grows. Had I not trust my intuition, had I not trusted him, and had I not trust my faith, I wouldn't be this happy today.

This may be a flight of fancy to others. But hubby if you are reading this, thank you for fluttering into my life. I trust and love you.

Prelude

I'm in a rush. Thus, this prelude suffice for now.

I wonder out aloud if I need permission to link other blogs onto mine. Cause I did not. I hope they (the owners) don't mind the links in winx in. I've included them as I constantly fly into their blogs to have good reads. They are not just accessories :

• Bruneiresources.blogspot.com - a lot of facts on Brunei, my beloved nation. He's a contributor to Brunei Times now. I know who he is, I mean I just happen to know one of his siblings. Smart. I guess it runs in the family.
• triathlonbrunei.blogspot.com - I know the owner well. He is the same owner of another blog. His inputs always intrigue me, particularly his travels. Just that the blog's inactive now, I know he's up to creating another. I'll wait for more of his writings. He inspires me to lose the weight and to push beyond my limits.
• bahapakitani.blogspot.com - it's good to know things are happening at home. It's there I found out the charity event (smarter & CFBT charity run, walk or cycle) this coming sunday. I'd be there.
• maurina.wordpress.com @Turquoise and Roses - Simple. I guess she represents our youth. But simplicity is effective. That's her strategy. I think she has done a good job as a blogger. With unreserved tactics. Her recent topic on female circumcision and male don't grunt must have multiplied the number of her visitors. Certainly, you'd be googable if you include words like cl*to**s and sentences including big, fat, long and hard. She sure deserve to be among the top bloggers in Brunei.
  
• abruneilifer.blogspot.com - This blog is addictive. You gotta have a dose of it each day. Ofcourse, it's not everyday he writes in his blog. Like Brunei resources he has good analytic views on many Brunei and global issues. I enjoy smart blogs. You also get a dosage of his personal life, and what Brunei old men really can be.
  
• star-o-meter.blogspot.com - it's fascinating that people talk (bit*h? haha) about frenemies on-line. Well, that's what blogs about, right? Honest accounts of your everydays. I'd stick to reading this blog, it's free-spirited and enlightening. See how close star-gazing can be.
  

Enough said. If you happen to be the owners, I hope you take compliment on my linking and constant winxing of your blogs. It's a fly on the wall for me of your views on life. Thank you.

I know the bloglist will continue to grow, as I enjoy winx-ing on many others. But, I crave for more intellectually-challenging blogs. That reminds me of my favourite forum bruclass.com, of which every now and then I continue to read. My contribution in there? I don't fancy cerebral matches these days. Reading is more pleasurable.

Heavy Winx

"CARS are to be BANNED from hundreds of roads in a desperate bid to tackle Britain's obesity crisis." (The Sun)

Wow, harsh or what? No, I'd certainly love the idea.

Well, I've got a confession. I've reached the 70 mark. Ofcourse, with some extras. I really don't know how to kill these kilos; I've never been this obese in my life. The last time I gave birth, it was easy to lose the fat. Added with determination to run the Brunei marathon, it was plain simple. This time around and yes, it has been 4 months, the kilos kept multiplying. I just don't have the motivation. The treadmill is not turning, nor is the cross-trainer. The MTV is not on yet upstairs, that's my excuse.

Well, I have to now. I know. I should walk later on. I can't run yet, my pelvic muscles are still weak. Very weak. That's not the point.

How do I go back to my size 10, when I am now 14. I know all the tricks, but I can't seem to get the strategies in gear. I'm done with trying old clothes, I know I can't fit into them; but the will is not fired up. I don't know why.

In fact yesterday, it was non-stop grazing actions. Lunch buffet at Millennium, high tea at home and calorie-loaded dinner. Well, we had visitors, so my parents and I were entertaining. Overfed.

Nevermind. I'll have to put in a 30 minutes walk around the block later on. I will try.

Fly smiling

It's a good day today.

Well, everyday is good, it's us who turn it the opposite, the result of our negativities. I'll keep that in perspective.

Woke up thanking God for what I have. A great husband, smart daughters, incredible family, well-equiped house, safe cars, good food, thirst-quenching drinks, excellent education, fulfilling job, friendly neighbours, peaceful Brunei... the list goes on. It's not bad at all. I'm thankful, Alhamdullilah.

I'm flying with these thoughts, with a great smile on me face.

"Ya Allah, ampunkanlah hamba mu yang lemah ini,yang mungkin kurang mensyukuri nikmat yang Kau berikan. Namun, jangan kau putuskan pemberian mu; murahkanlah rezeki kami, berikanlah kekayaan kepada kami: kekayaan iman, kekayaan ilmu dan kekayaan harta, bagi kesenangan kami dunia akhirat. Tunjukkanlah kami jalan yang lurus, dan bukakan kami kepada ketakwaan kepada Mu. Salawat dan salam keatas rasul kamu, Nabi Muhammad saw".

why the butterfly?

Butterflies, they are beautiful.

A symbol of freedom,
the freedom of thoughts.

A symbol of colours,
the colours of life.

A symbol of spirits,
the spirits of determinations.