Reflections

It's December 3rd today; the new year is just round the corner and I'm getting ultra worried. I feel I'm not getting anywhere.

* My thesis correction - I am way overdue. I'm still stuck with my scales purification section. It's moving, but progress is very slow. I don't understand either. It's just the last two scales, and the simplest of all. Single items, they should be easy. Not. I've justifications for, and I've validated their applications, but the words are not flowing. Am I trying too hard to complete just one sentence, one paragraph, one section, one chapter? Or am I such a perfectionist that I keep reconstructing my sentences. My supervisor is. Perhaps, I am just too scared of more criticism from him. But critique is good. My work is good and original, I know. I just have to keep moving. At a speedy pace now.

Goal of the day: Finish correcting chapter 4 and 3.


* My weight - I am still overweight. I get complacent sometimes thinking it'll be easier to shed the kilos when I'm away. I always did. But I can't wait till I'm gone, it'll be embarrassing. They've never seen me big, let alone huge. I got to shape up to a comfortable look. Not just for myself and my confidence, but my health. I'm a young mother, and I want to see my grandkids one day. That's a long way to go. To stay healthy is one way to achieve that.

Goal of the week: 210 minutes of exercise minimum and 10,500kcal of f&b maximum


* My effort - is still very weak. My will is strong, but I lack discipline. I procrastinate many times. Thinking they're small, they're short and they'd be quickly done. But no, everything takes time, if it's to be perfect. It's not just about finishing, quality matters. But quantity helps; "sikit sikit lama-lama jadi bukit" as they prescribed at the 4th National Business Conference. So, I have to push beyond my limit, I gotta act. I got to change my attitude. I don't want to be part of the 'typical Bruneian.' I am not and I won't.

Goal of the month: to accomplish, to feel guiltless and to fly high happily into 2008